Trust is More than a Vibe

The more I work with new people out here in my new Group 18 business, the more fascinating trust becomes.

I’m constantly meeting new people, and trust is working in both directions. I need to evaluate whether I can trust a new client or collaborator. I also need to demonstrate that they can trust me!

So what are the elements of trust? How is it earned?

Trust is often framed as an intuitive feeling. It’s often treated as binary along a single dimension; there’s trust or there isn’t.

But trust is so much richer than those simple definitions!

Today I’ll dive into the nuance and framework that underpins trust, the background of so many of our human interactions. Let’s dive in!

Key Facets of Trust

As discussed in this newsletter, simplicity is on the other side of complexity; you need to understand the complexity of a concept before you can operate with simplicity. What really makes up trust?

Trust isn’t one thing. It’s a multi-faceted, evolving construct. And to work with it effectively, you need to understand those facets.

The three facets are:

• It’s a spectrum.
• It has more than one dimension.
• It’s situational.

Before diving in, think of a high trust relationship you have. Hold that relationship in mind as we go. By the end you’ll be able to break it down and see exactly how and why trust works in that dynamic.

Facet 1 - It’s a spectrum

When someone asks you whether you trust someone, what do you say? Usually we simplify the response and say either “I don’t trust them” or “I trust them.” It’s all or nothing.

In reality, trust is messy. While you might speak about it as an either/or, people don’t really have 0% or 100% of your trust.

Through every interaction a person (or a collection of people, like a company or government) is gaining or losing trust. They’re moving up or down along a spectrum.

Thinking of trust as a spectrum gives you a tool, not just a feeling. You can assess it, build it, and even repair it. And the more clearly you see where you stand on that spectrum with someone, the more wisely you can act.

Facet 2 - It has more than one dimension

Let’s build on the first facet and make it even more interesting: Trust exists across several distinct dimensions.

You may have a level of trust for someone’s competence, but you have less trust for their reliability (they do solid work, but miss deadlines).

You may have a high level of trust on someone’s honesty, but have less trust on their care (they tell the truth, but you don’t mean much to them).

There are many different dimensions you can develop trust along. Can you think of any others outside of the list below?

• Competence: Do they have the skills and knowledge to do the job well?
• Reliability: Do they follow through on commitments?
• Care: Do they care about me, or just the transaction?
• Honesty: Are they being truthful and authentic with me?
• Responsiveness: Do they respond in a timely and thoughtful way?
• Discretion: Can they keep what’s shared in confidence?

This is fun because when you combine it with Facet 1 you see the real richness of the concept of trust!

If you are data-oriented, this can be represented as a radar chart. Each person you work with could be plotted along these dimensions. People could also plot YOU along these different dimensions.

This helps when diagnosing trust. If it feels low, why is it low? Which dimension is under-performing?

Maybe someone has high skill (Competence), tells the truth (Honesty), but everything feels transactional. You’d work on Care specifically, not just “trust” generally.

This kind of mapping helps move trust conversations from vague uncertainty to specific improvement.

Think about the high trust relationship you brought to mind earlier. How would they map across these dimensions? Are they high in all areas, or just a few?

Facet 3 - It’s situational

You might trust your favorite chef to make a killer burger, but you probably wouldn’t trust them to fly you across the country.

Trust is situational.

A changing situation doesn’t have to be as different as cooking vs. flying. It could just be that your boss’s boss made a surprise visit to your team’s weekly meeting. Adding a new person into the situation creates a new situation. As we explored in our recent series on cognitive biases, who you’re around can change how you think.

Other times new situations can be hidden from sight.

Let’s say that your boss’s bonus will now be based on a new metric. That’s a new situation! And unless your boss is really transparent, you won’t know that anything has changed. You might just experience a gradual change in their behavior feeling less caring. This is not because they’ve changed as a person, but the background situation is different.

The complexity this introduces is that you need to mindful of changing situations and the impact on trust.

But like Facet 2, this can be a powerful diagnostic tool. If your sense of trust changes, don’t rush to blame the person, look at the context. Is there a visible shift, like a new stakeholder in the room? Or something hidden, like changing incentives or a personal struggle?

When you adjust how you understand the situation, you can better understand - and rebuild - trust.

The Asymmetric Nature of Shifting Trust

Beyond the three facets, there’s one more thing to know: moving trust is asymmetrical. It takes consistency over time to build trust, but it takes just one slip up to lose it.

Let’s take something as simple as your weekly 1-1 with your team members. You may meet every week like clockwork, but then you’re busy one week and cancel. You lose some trust on Reliability and Care. And it takes more than one more 1-1 to get back to where you started. It could take maybe 8-10 more reliable 1-1s before you get back to even.

Guard every dimension, because rebuilding trust is measured in weeks or months, not minutes.

Call to Action

Your turn: Do you have a relationship where their trust of you feels like it might be off?

Use today’s framework to perform a self diagnosis on it. Rate yourself on a scale of 0–10 across the six dimensions.

Choose the lowest score and come up with one concrete action you’ll take this week to lift it by a single point.

No time like the present! Hit reply and send me a 👊 (or emoji of your choosing) to let me know you’ll be taking action.

Kevin