The Cost of What’s Unsaid
Most organizations aren’t suffering from what they can see, they’re suffering from what they can’t.
It’s the teammate who slacks off when the boss isn’t around.
It’s the project the team knows won’t hit the objective.
It’s the customer problems stuck in the minds of support staff.
These issues and others like them exist. A few people might see them, but for a variety of reasons they’re not talked about. This robs the business from the ability to solve them.
You can’t solve what you don’t know, and you don’t know if you don’t talk about it.
These unspoken problems compound. The longer they stay buried, the more they cause other problems, and the more costly unwinding them all becomes.
The Cost of What’s Hidden
“In the typical corporate meeting—a business review, for example—the dialogue is constrained and politicized. Some people want to shade and soften what they say to avoid a confrontation. Others need to beat those they’re talking to into submission. In groups that contain both types of people (which is the case in many meetings), dialogue becomes a combat sport for the killers and a humiliation or bore for the passives. Little reality gets on the table, and the meeting doesn’t move the issues forward much.”
— Larry Bossidy and Ram Charan in “Execution”
Does that meeting described above resonate? I’ve certainly been in meetings where the aggressors dominate, the passives are quiet, and the real issue isn’t spoken - and thus, not solved.
When issues don’t get spoken, effective decisions get delayed because the problem remains unsurfaced.
The slacker teammate keeps collecting a paycheck and frustrating the team.
The project doesn’t get the resources or adjustments to make it successful.
Customer problems remain unsolved.
The leadership of the business (in theory) would really want to know about these problems. Why aren’t they discussed?
Why People Don’t Talk
Often, it’s fear. Fear of conflict, punishment, or justing being the person everyone looks at. 😬
Lots of teams pretend everything is fine to avoid discomfort.
People see the cost more clearly than the benefit. If you speak up, you may get shut down, or get a reputation for being a problem. If you expose the problem, the company may benefit, but how likely is that to benefit the person bringing it up?
When the cost is clear and personal, and the benefit is unclear and collective, the calculus says to stay quiet.
When your culture doesn’t support candor, you won’t get it.
What “Getting It on the Table” Looks Like
Once you’ve decided to surface reality, the next challenge is how to do it effectively. Candor is NOT just blurting out what you think, it’s creating the conditions where truth can be spoken…and heard.
“Jerks are likely to rip your organization apart from the inside. And their favorite way to do that is often by stabbing their colleagues in the front and then offering, ‘I was just being candid.’”
— Reed Hastings and Erin Meyer in “No Rules Rules”
Getting things on the table is a collective discipline; a muscle teams build by practicing three habits:
- Say what’s true for you: From “The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership”: real candor means speaking what’s unarguable. That’s the difference between describing your experience (“I feel tense when we talk about this”) and assigning intent (“You’re trying to control me”). When we stick to what’s unarguable - sensations, feelings, observable facts - others can stay open instead of getting defensive. It shifts the conversation from accusation to exploration.
- Celebrate the messenger: People watch how leaders respond to bad news. If you flinch, punish, or dismiss, you teach everyone to hide reality. But when you thank someone for bringing it up - even when it stings - you reinforce that truth is welcome. Over time, that’s how candor scales from one brave soul to an entire organization.
- Listen for what’s being felt: When people are filtering what they say, you’ll see it. A pause. A half-sentence. A nervous laugh. Those moments are gold! Invite them gently: “It sounds like there’s more there. Could you please elaborate? I’d love to hear what you have to say.”
Candor, done right, creates shared reality. Everyone gets an accurate picture and you can solve what really matters.
Most organizations don’t fail because they can’t solve problems - they fail because they never surface them!
Hidden issues quietly drain time, money, and morale while everyone pretends things are fine. Fear and self-protection keep people quiet, and silence compounds risk.
Healthy teams make reality discussable. They don’t avoid tension; they channel it into progress. The moment truth gets on the table, decisions get better and trust deepens.
Call to Action
I like the questions that come from Jerry Colonna’s, “Reboot”:
What am I not saying that needs to be said?
What am I saying (in words or deeds) that’s not being heard?
What’s being said that I’m not hearing?
Pick one conversation you’ve been avoiding, one truth that hasn’t made it onto the table. Be brave. Say it this week.
Kevin