When too much of a good thing turns bad; how the dose makes the poison

Hello and Happy Monday! I hope you had a good weekend full of whatever you wanted to get out of it!

Last week was Thanksgiving break and I enjoyed the week off. The kids all helped make the three pies; apple, cherry, and pecan. In fact, the two boys made the pecan pie all by themselves. Everything turned out great. We were all extremely lazy that day, spending a large percentage of it on the couch watching the Macy’s parade, Christmas movies, and football games.

In addition to the various projects I worked on last week, I also hit my goal of 10K steps every day. I’m really close to ending the month above 300K steps; I’ll have to average about 12K per day this week, which is harder for me to achieve during the work week.

I had the realization last week that I want to focus more on reading depth than breadth. For a little over three years now I’ve been reading at a two books per week pace. In the last six months I can tell there have been times when I’ve shied away from really long books in order to keep pace. Speed was never my intention - learning was - but as a person motivated by goals I realized this goal is no longer serving me. So, as weird as it sounds, I had to give myself permission to let go of that goal. I’m going to cut the pace in half and focus more on depth.

To that end, I created a template in Obsidian for me to go through after I read a book. My prompts in there are things that challenge me to think more about the text, to find connections to other work, and to reflect on key highlights. I’m happy about the new direction!

I hope you enjoy today’s newsletter. As always, please email me back with any feedback, thoughts, or reflections. I’d love to hear from you.

Kevin

​

A Quote

“ Constant input and connections keep us grounded in present reality, in the “what is.” Only in solitude, free from inputs and distractions, does the mind wander far enough to make true breakthroughs and imagine the “what could be.” — John Fitch, "Time Off"

​

Three Things

1 - 👔 Stitch Fix - I’ve been aware of, and intrigued by, Stitch Fix for years (they were founded in 2011) but have never used a styling/shopping service like theirs. Well, this weekend I finally signed up! I answered a lot of style questions, played a few rounds of a “style game” where I could yes/no particular outfits, and the gave them some instructions on what I’m looking for. I’m going to see if they can get me some good clothes for dates with my wife. You can do a one-time “fix” or set recurring cadence (as quickly as two weeks - who needs new clothes every two weeks?!). If you wanted to try it, this referral code is good for $25 off.

2 - 👩‍💻 Athena - I first heard about this personal assistant service when Sam Corcos, CEO of Levels, was on the Tim Ferriss podcast (link to episode). Sam uses many assistants in their company because of the leverage it provides. This particular company is $3K/month and the person works full time for you. The link here is to their playbook if you’re curious what types of work they do. It doesn’t make financial sense for me to use a full time service like this today, but I’m keeping them on my radar for the future!

3 - Arc Browser - I LOVE LOVE LOVE this browser. It’s focused on privacy and the user experience. It has a lot of features that you didn’t know you wanted but that make your life easier. I’ve been using it on all of my computers for more than a year and can’t say enough good things about it. It’s Mac only for now but a Windows version and mobile version are in the works. This is not a review, so if you’re interested just check out their website and see if it’s something you’re interested in. I’ll share the paragraph below from their FAQ.

​

Deeper Dive

I’ve been playing video games since roughly eight years old and have a lot of video game related memories.

I got an original Nintendo for Christmas and remember not wanting to leave the house because I was so enamored with Mario. Later I would ride my bike with friends for a few miles to the video rental store to get some games for the weekend.

I remember the elation when I got the Nintendo 64 for Christmas, followed shortly thereafter by surprise and frustration when I discovered the newfangled RCA connections weren’t compatible with our TV! I remember the PS2 that allowed me to watch my first DVDs. I remember when my oldest son was a baby and accidentally bought me a game by playing with the controller with the TV off.

I played video games through childhood, adolescence, college, and having three kids. Video games were a feature of my life for decades until Christmas 2021 when I essentially quit them, cold turkey.

At the end of 2021 I had done a year end reflection exercise. I went through photos from the year. I answered question prompts. I thought through my goals for the future.

I don’t remember when it hit me exactly, but I do remember a thought appearing in my head that said, “Wait, video games didn’t matter.”

When I sat with that thought I realized there was some merit to it. I had played dozens and dozens of games that year. I listened to video game podcasts. I read video game news.

Surprisingly, absolutely nothing about video games stuck out to me during the end of year reflection. They also weren’t helping me achieve my goals.

So, I stopped.

I still have a positive association with games, and my kids still play them. Periodically I’ll play something with them, but it’s no longer is a central part of my life.

This represents the idea that “the dose makes the poison.” In small amounts, many things are harmless. But there’s a point at which that harmless thing hits a level that turns it into something that’s no longer good for you.

While “poison” is a little harsh in this anecdote, I realized that video games had gone beyond that healthy threshold in my life and I wanted to bring the level down.

The idea that the dose makes the poison dates back to at least Paracelsus, our Swiss friend from the 1500s (you may remember that name from the Three Things in this newsletter). He said:

“All things are poison, and nothing is without poison; the dosage alone makes it so a thing is not a poison.”

Paracelsus was I’m sure a brilliant man, but that language is a little hard for modern folks to parse. Thankfully we have the shorthand version 🙂

When he said that “all things are poison,” he’s getting at the fact that just about anything can harm you at a high enough level.

Just a few examples are below:

🥃 Alcohol - Most people can tolerate a sip or a full drink. Have several and you may be in for a rough morning. Go even further and you could die from consuming too much.

💧 Water - You need water to live, but if you consume too much you may get water intoxication and could die. (speaking of video games, you may remember the tragic story of the 28 year old woman who died from this trying to win her kids a Nintendo Wii)

🥕 Carrots - Yes, too many carrots can be harmful. They can cause carotenosis, which causes your skin to turn orange. It can take months for it to return to a normal color!

The above list, and things like it, are pretty straightforward. These are physical things that you can choose to put in your body. There are also rules that can be put in place to establish what levels are acceptable and what levels are harmful.

In fact, this is the practice behind things like acceptable toxins in our water supply. It may be gross to think about mercury and other substances in our water, but it’s a reality. In theory our body can process out toxins at these levels.

Where things get really interesting is where there’s no hard and fast rule. There are areas of life - like video games were for me - where the levels are different for different people, at different stages of life, and are difficult to define and measure. A few examples are:

🏋️ Exercise - Working out is important for health and longevity, but if you overdo it your body can’t recover and you may suffer increased injuries, fatigue, or other health issues.

📱 Social Media - A little bit may be good to connect with friends and family, but there are many studies out there showing the negative effects it can have on your mental health.

👨‍💻 Work - Work can provide meaning and put food on the table, but if you’re working into the evening and on the weekends, you’re likely harming other aspects of your life.

While the above three examples are probably common among most people, each of us have different behaviors, hobbies, and interests. It is important to understand this concept and its application so that you can apply these to your personal circumstances and live the life you want. To do so, you can use awareness, intentionality, and balance to navigate a discussion for yourself.

Awareness - The first step is to bring awareness into your life. Humans do a lot on autopilot, so you’ll have to bring some things to the foreground to interrogate them. Jennifer Garvey Berger has a framing I like in her book, Changing on the Job, called getting it on the table:

Intentionality - Once you’re aware of something you’ll need to set an intention. Are you operating at a safe level or has it gone up into an unhealthy zone?

Balance - Life is balance. It ebbs and flows. You’ll have to monitor how your life is or isn’t in balance, and what adjustments need to be made. It’s not a one-time effort because you change, your environment changes, and your goals change.

Together these tools of awareness, intentionality, and balance are a good approach to making adjustments that ensure nothing in your life is hitting

Since we’re closing in on the end of the calendar year - and the two year anniversary of the reflection that prompted me to stop playing video games - it’s a good a time as any to get a head start on your own reflection.

My first suggestion is to be clear on the person you want to be and the life you want to lead. Reflect on whether your habits and choices are supporting you in becoming that person and living that life.

Bring things to a level of conscious awareness and reflect on whether it’s something that exists in too high a dose, or is still at a good level. If it’s too high, take steps to dial it back a notch.

Importantly, these don’t have to be huge life-altering reflections. Maybe you’ve got too much of one color in your wardrobe and you want to make room for other colors. Maybe you realize you’re talking too much in meetings and want to make space for other voices. Inversely, maybe the ‘quiet’ is the poison and you need to speak more.

The magnitude of the idea or the level of change is not important. It’s the act of bringing things to conscious awareness, being intentional about the person you want to be, and making incremental changes so that you’re not accidentally “poisoning” yourself.

Have fun with this, and let me know whether a reflection has prompted you to make any adjustments. I’d love to hear your story!

Kevin 🤗