The absence is the invitation

Hey everyone! I'm just coming off a week of vacation at home. I accomplished nearly all of what I set out to do and enjoyed time with my family. Two kids had the week off of school and vacationed with me.

The kids and I put together a list of things we wanted to do during the week - all of which was focused on fun. We did mini-golf, went to the arcade, went bowling, etc. We sampled coffee and hot chocolate around town. One of the kids did not have the week off, so one day when the schedule worked out, we picked him up from school and went straight the arcade for an hour before evening sports practices started.

I did a LOT of cooking for the week. I made a mole sauce for the first time. I made ratatouille (on request from the kids because of my story for making ratatouille for the homeless in Sydney last week). I made homemade sourdough. In general I just went through cookbooks before the week started at tagged all the things I wanted to try out.

I also had plenty of time for wellness. I did my cold plunge. I meditated and did breath work. I did hill work trying to improve my VO2 Max. I did a long ruck (6 miles), one mile of which I was carrying a 40 pound sandbag. I hit 12K-24K steps each day.

This was my first week of vacation for the calendar year, so my overarching goal was to disconnect and come back to work with a full cup and feeling refreshed. Mission accomplished.

Kevin

A Quote

“ Teams who try to focus to too many new goals at the same time usually wind up doing a mediocre job on all of them. You can ignore the principle of focus, but it won’t ignore you. Or you can leverage this principle to achieve your top goals like landing planes one at a time, again and again. — Chris McChesney, "The 4 Disciplines of Execution"

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Three Things

1 - 🎙️ Zen Habits Podcast - Leo Babauta, of Zen Habits blog fame, has recently started a podcast. There are currently nine episodes published. The “first season” of episodes is good for anyone starting a project, with episodes centered around important concepts, like “getting started,” “creating commitment,” and “being confronted by fear.”

2 - 🥘 Lodge Cast Iron - Coming off a week of deep cooking, I’m reminded of how much I love my cast iron pans. One night I used five pieces of cast iron to complete the meal! They’re inexpensive anyway, but especially so when considering their length of use; we’re nearing a decade or so on our 12” workhorse. I’ll likely be able to pass this down to my kids!

3 - ✅ Todoist. This is my to-do list manager of choice. It’s been a great way to set up everything across my personal and professional life. The company stays on top of development; squashing bugs, adding features, and updating the design. An unlock for me on managing stress associated with tasks has been to treat them as “the palette of colors that paint the canvas of your life.” Choose what you want to paint with, and you don’t have to use every color!

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Deeper Dive

The absence of something is the invitation to become that which is required.

Two years ago I read a book called The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership that taught me this mindset. The sentence above is paraphrased from the 15th commitment, called "Being the Resolution:"

I heartily recommend that book and I will likely share perspectives over time on this newsletter that have been shaped by other commitments in that book.

For now, let’s explore this mindset a little further and then go into some examples.

One key phrase in the mindset is “being the…solution.” This is about solving problems and creating impact. This is about being pulled into the arena to get sweaty, and maybe a little bloodied, building something or becoming someone that is needed in the world.

Don’t sit around waiting or wishing for others to create the life, the business, the family you want. Get started. Make the thing. Provide the assistance. Or become the person you need to be to manifest the world you envision.

The same thing that makes this mindset powerful is the same thing that makes it very advanced. Building something new or changing parts of who you are can be a difficult proposition. Doing those things require you to go down an uncertain and challenging path. It’s not always for the faint of heart, but it is worth the effort.

While I believe doing hard things is what life is about, the other beautiful thing about this mindset is the ease that’s created in the term, “invitation.” The absence of something isn’t an obligation for you to solve it. It means you can solve it if you’d like, but you can also pass on it. Many things are missing in the world and while you can do anything, you can’t do everything.

You’ll need to be strategic about the invitations you respond to. Every one you engage with is a commitment of your time and energy, both of which are finite. Reflect on the bigger vision you have for your life or work. Listen to your body’s response to the invitation - pay closest attention to those that give you one of those “whole body yeses.”

When you resonate with an invitation, that’s a clue. Follow those.

Note that the scope of the invitation can be small or large. Maybe the coffee beans in the break room are in an inconvenient spot. That’s your invitation to move them!

Maybe you need to help create a whole new product, or a whole new division at work - or even start your own business. You can do that! The world is inviting you to shape the future you live in!

As Lily Tomlin said:

So this week I want you to pay attention to these invitations floating all around you. One method is to hear yourself wishing someone else would do something. It'll sound like:

"Why don't they..."

"Can't they..."

"Someone really should..."

That's the sound of opportunity knocking! Flip these on their head and ask yourself instead:

"How could I..."

"What would it look like if I..."

"I should just..."

Let me know what invitations you respond to this week! I'd love to hear about the world you're trying to create, both big and small. Just reply to this and the email will go directly to me. Talk soon!