An Introvert's Structured Approach to Networking - Part 3
I spent 20+ years doing no networking, and thinking I was bad at networking. When, by necessity, I started networking to grow my independent business, I learned that networking is a skill that can be developed - and you can be successful even as an introvert.
If you’ve been following along in this newsletter series on networking, so far we generated a list of people to contact, and then we reached out to them. Now it’s time to meet!
Today I’ll cover email introductions, which come into play once your networking is progressing. Then I’ll cover the actual meeting, and some techniques to stay in touch with people over time.
Email Introductions
Once you get going with networking you’ll begin to get introductions to other people through email. This is because your new network connections are helping you by introducing you to their network. This is where networking can get really powerful!
Once you’ve received an email introduction, now it’s time to coordinate a time to talk. Make it easy.
Don’t make people jump through hoops to talk with you. If you’ve going back and forth over 10 emails to coordinate a time to talk, it’s just not going to happen.
I use a booking calendar because I think it’s convenient for both parties. I share it with the person, but because I’m aware some people don’t like it, I also offer to coordinate in another way and ask them to share times. It sounds like the following:
If it’s convenient for you, I have a calendar booking link here: [insert link]. If you’d prefer to coordinate in a different way, please send me your availability and we’ll get something booked!
Introduction Etiquette
If you’re the one facilitating a connection, do the double-opt-in connection. That means you get both people to agree in advance that they’re interested in meeting each other.
This is more work on your part, but it makes you a stronger node in everyone’s network, and increases the likelihood of a successful connection to almost 100%.
When you introduce two people, do a little work and tell each person about the other person. Why should they connect? Add a link to each person’s LinkedIn profile. Again, more work on your part, but these make a huge difference!
I’ve gotten introductions that essentially say, “Kevin and [other person] - you know what to do!” Those are lazy. Don’t do that.
And lastly, when you are introduced to someone, after you meet the person, go back and close the loop with the person who introduced you. Closing the loop is a rare move, but powerful. The person who did the introduction sees you in a more positive light and will more likely facilitate introductions to you in the future because you’re a stand-up person. You make their network more powerful by you being in it!
The Meeting
Congrats on getting a meeting set up!
The first rule is - be on time! You’re generating your reputation with everything you do. A minute is fine. Two is pushing it. Three is officially late. Five is rude.
If someone doesn’t show, I email them five minutes after asking if they can still make it. I drop off at eight minutes if they’re still not there.
Do light research on the person before they arrive and generated a short list of questions to ask them. Use those questions as a guide, not a prescription. Be present and follow where the conversation goes - don’t rigidly follow your list.
A great starting point - after the small talk of establishing where you’re each calling from - is to go over a brief introduction.
Let me emphasize brief!
I have 20+ years of work experience that I go through in three minutes. I can stretch it longer if I know there’s a shared interest in there, but three minutes is plenty.
Once both people have shared history, it’s often fun to explore commonality. Do you have shared experiences? Did they say something that resonated? Feel free to ask questions to understand them more deeply.
Going over history is interesting, but don’t spend too long on it. 15 minutes of a 30 minute call is enough. It’s important to get to the future so you both know how to help each other.
When the time is right, push towards the future. I like to ask someone what their professional goals or ambitions are. That leads to a lot of interesting follow on discussions.
I also like to learn who they want to meet. If they’re in business, who is their customer? This is so you know how to help them after the call. Make sure you let them know who you’d like to meet, too!
I like to take notes on a notepad during calls. I write down their goals or other things I want to remember in the future.
AI meeting recorders can be used for this as well. Be careful, though. Especially in an introductory call, if you’ve got an AI meeting recorder on the screen, it can put a barrier between you and the other person. No one I meet with has a visible AI bot on a call.
When you’re getting close to the end of the call, if you’re really vibing with the other person, I find it helpful to schedule a time to talk in the future. 6-8 weeks is a good cadence. It gives both of you enough time to have meaningful updates to share later. I’ve made a lot of good friends this way, and we check in on this cadence.
Recurring meetings are not necessary, though. You can also just end the call thanking the other person for their time. If you set up recurring meetings with everyone you meet, your calendar will block out actual work!
After the Call
After the call I like to store my notes somewhere more permanent while they’re fresh. Put them somewhere you can find them again.
CRMs are good for this, but so is any electronic note tool.
I picked this up from “Radical Delegation,” but in these calls I like to record three main categories of things:
1️⃣ - Professional Challenges
2️⃣ - Personal Interests
3️⃣ - About / Facts
This helps you keep track of what’s going on in their professional and personal lives. When you meet this person again, you’ll have notes from your first time and don’t have to rely on your memory.
If you can, write out your notes while it’s fresh before you forget things!
After the initial meeting, connections can fade. Why go through all that work to meet people just to never talk to them again! Here’s where you continue to add value to your network.
Refer Them
You can add value to your network by helping them achieve their goals. Who do they want to meet? Make introductions to them.
I’ve been doing this enough that if I meet someone who says, “I’d love to meet a CFO doing A or B,” I can make a connection. If they need help with marketing or social media outreach, I know people doing that.
Distribution and marketing is hard! If you can help someone by facilitating a connection to someone they need, you’ll be hugely valuable.
This is how I get all of my business today, and I’m hugely appreciative of those who take the time to send people my way. I work hard to do the same for others.
Reconnect
This is my biggest area of opportunity in networking. I could improve how I follow up and cultivate relationships.
Lately I’ve tried to go ahead and contact someone if they cross my mind. I might remember a conversation I had six months ago, so I’ll open up email and send them a note really quick. I’ll give them a quick update on me and my business, then ask them how things are going on their end.
If I took good notes, I can reference something from our call. Maybe they were struggling with a challenge and I can ask how it all turned out.
I’ve also sent people posts I find on LinkedIn. If I find a post I think they’d be interested in, I’ll use the “Send” functionality on LinkedIn to send it to them directly. This would probably be annoying if I did it often, but I probably share one LinkedIn post every two months - total, not to each person.
Part of the reason you need to do this is because you don’t want to reach out needing something, not having invested in the relationship before that.
Let’s say you’re looking for a new job, and this person you met two years ago works at the company you’re interested in. You definitely should reach out no matter what, but you’ll get a much stronger connection if you’d connected during that two years.
You can’t have hundreds of best friends, so you don’t need to constantly talk to everyone you network with. Once or twice a year is probably enough to keep things warm.
Call to Action
Networking is a muscle you can build, and it gets stronger with use. You’ve now built a list, sent outreach, learned how to run great meetings, and stay in touch. That’s 90% of what it takes to build a powerful, authentic network!
The rest? Keep showing up. Add value. Stay curious. Do the little things others skip; make referrals, share thoughtful intros, check in.
That’s how you go from a name in someone’s inbox to a trusted partner in their circle.
This week, try the following:
1 - Do you have any upcoming networking calls? If not, book one today. Even a 15-minute check-in counts.
2 - During your next meeting, take notes on their challenges. How could you help them?
If you found today’s deep dive helpful, forward it to a friend who’s trying to grow their network too. Yours might be the introduction that changes everything!
Kevin