A lack of appreciation isn’t neutral

Welcome to the “The Catalyst,” Kevin Noble’s weekly newsletter about becoming a more effective leader.

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Quick Note

In Group 18 last week Anna and I started working on an exciting new proposal, and it was one we initially turned down.

Someone shared an opportunity with us (which, by the way, was awesome!), but at first glance it was too far outside of our normal work. I also didn’t want to harm the referrer’s reputation by saying yes to something I didn’t think we could do.

But then I slept on it 😁

And was like, “Why not us?”

You’ll recall me saying last week that I’d been inspired by “any funded need” from Walter O’Brien, and Alan Weiss’ advice to focus on breadth. This project may not be something I’ve done before, but I have strengths that could be valuable to the client.

Everything’s solvable. Besides, it doesn’t hurt to have an initial conversation!

So we met with the client. Essentially they’ve worked in an industry for decades and have specific insights on what the market needs. But they need help with market research, testing, business model development, and funding to bring this idea to life. Very much a 0-to-1 project.

On the call I was my normal self. I was curious and asked questions. I’d say back to the client what I heard them say to confirm I understood it. I brought up books I’d been reading that gave me insight into the challenge. And I was sincere in taking ownership of their problem.

The client reacted positively and invited us to make a proposal. They said on the call that our instinctual reactions were super positive.

We’ll deliver the proposal live to the client this week. The first phase will be small, but if we end up doing the whole project, it would be north of six figures.

Obviously there’s no guarantee that the client will say yes – I don’t control that part. We control our research, creativity, and overall preparedness. Even if we don’t get the work, the experience is a huge positive – the referral, the practice engaging a client, the proposal, the pricing, etc.

And it happened because I said, “Why not?” Cheers to saying yes to new experiences 😁

Kevin

Anna and I are hosting our OKR Workshop (and Party) on October 8th at 1:30 PM CT. That’s early lunch time on the West coast, or after dinner in Amsterdam.

This is for you if:

• You’re looking for a methodology to align your organization.
• You’re running OKRs in some form, but feel like it’s not quite optimized.
• You want to learn from the mistakes and best practices of others.
• You’re ready to dive in and engage in a discussion.

Anna and I will share decades worth of experience with you. We’ll dive into the nitty gritty to give you the tactics and confidence to set up or improve how OKRs are run at your company.

Only $10 as a subscriber if you sign up with the code, CATALYST.

There are nine spots left. We hope to see you there!

A Quote

“ …we tend to default to thinking of opposing models as wrong, and we define those who hold them as either stupid or evil. Our first instinct when we hear something at odds with our own view is to dismiss that alternative view and to distance ourselves from it. In integrative thinking, we take a different stance. Faced with a view at odds with our own, the response is, “That’s different from how I have been thinking about it. Say more.” — Roger Martin in “Creating Great Choices”

Three Things

1 – 📙 The Right It

This is only the fourth book this year that I’ve given a five-star rating to. The premise is that even with great execution, some ideas are the Wrong It and will never find success in the market. You need to work on the Right It. How do you figure out if your idea is a Right It? You test it. This book has great tactics for how to test your ideas before you burn through your time and money.

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2 – 🎒 GoRuck Sand “Jerry Can”

I bought this years ago to help train for the 4-hour GoRuck event. I’d walk with 30 lbs in my backpack, then carry this in my arms, or on my shoulders. I’m not currently training for an event, but I put this next to my work desk to encourage me to do weighted squats or kettlebell swings in between meetings. My body can get so crumpled up sitting at a desk all day, this helps counteract that.

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3 – ⏳ Time Tracking Cube

I’ve used web-based time tracking tools, and I’ve used physical time tracking tools (like stacking LEGOs), but I’ve never had a physical object tied to the web for time tracking. I don’t have one of these, but it could be fun to assign projects to different sides! So much of my life is electronic, this tactile thing would be a nice change of pace.

(please enjoy this 6️⃣ minute read)

Deep Dive on Appreciation

I’m a recovering non-appreciator.

I have a natural tendency to focus on problems to be solved. Issues to be improved. I’m not satisfied.

These can be really effective traits in my profession! But strengths can be weaknesses, and I, like many leaders, had a blind spot on appreciation.

I had to learn that appreciation isn’t fluff. It’s not the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae, where the dessert is still awesome without it. Appreciation is a key performance tool that can be used to great effect.

And not using it isn’t neutral; it causes harm.

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Why lack of appreciation is a problem

Traditional management is biased towards critique, correction, and hunting for defects. It’s how I learned! The leaders I trained under were highly critical, so I modeled them.

But guess what? It sucks to work under!

Being the recipient of very little appreciation doesn’t feel great, and I’m not alone. I found many studies and surveys reporting this, including this one by O.C. Tanner saying that 79% of people who quit cite “lack of appreciation” as their reason for leaving.

You don’t need me to tell you how much employee turnover impedes performance!

Before you even get to an employee exit, when criticism is more present than appreciation, there are many harms: it kills initiative, generates resentment, hinders learning, and erodes a sense of connection and belonging.

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Appreciation is a Performance Tool

Have you ever heard the phrase, “what you appreciate, appreciates”? It means that the behaviors you appreciate are the ones you’ll get more of.

Your job as a leader is to catch people doing things right.

This ties into the concept of focusing on what you control. Lots of leaders only want to appreciate a good outcome, so they wait until the very end, when the work is done and the results are in.

But the problem is that we live in a probabilistic world, which means there’s a level of uncertainty in everything we do!

If you only praise outcomes:
– you’ll often praise people for a bad process that got a good outcome because of luck, and
– you’ll also withhold praise on a great process just because the team was unlucky in the end.

Besides, if you praise outcomes, you’re not reinforcing the behaviors that you want to see more of. The team may not internalize the right lessons from the work. You may be reducing the likelihood of good future outcomes because the team will double down on the wrong lessons learned.

What you want to do is appreciate the inputs. Your role as a leader is to be a systems architect of your organization. You’ve got a machine that you’re trying to tune.

So what do you want your system to do more of?

If you think it’s great for the team to make fast decisions, then appreciate the team for doing exactly that.

If you think it’s great for the team to spend time aligning with other teams, then appreciate the team for doing that.

If you want people to debate ideas, then you better appreciate people who engage in debate – especially when they’re challenging your ideas.

You don’t control the outcomes, but if you encourage the behaviors you want to see, you’re going to increase your odds of success.

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How to do it Well

Even if you’re appreciating inputs, you can still be bad at giving appreciation. Here are a few pointers.

Be Specific: Saying “great job” is like eating a Twinkie; it’s just empty calories. The recipient may briefly feel pleased, but they’ll soon realize they’re hungry for something real.

You might be thinking “great job,” but you need to get specific with the person or team.

Maybe you meant, “Thank you all for quickly researching three alternative options to our default choice.”

Or maybe you meant, “Thank you for taking our notes from yesterday and putting structure around them on this Confluence page. That really helps today’s meeting be more effective.”

If you ever say “Good job,” you need to follow it up with exactly what made it so good.

Make it Immediate: Don’t wait! If you’re waiting until the end of the year or end of the month, that’s too long. Sure, you can re-state it there, but don’t have that be the first time.

You want it to be immediate because it’s fresh in everyone’s mind. Your available level of specificity goes down the further from the event you share it. Similarly, the details will be foggy in the mind of the recipient. You want it fresh for the most impact.

Make it Authentic: People can sniff out BS. If you don’t mean it, they’ll know it, and that’ll undermine your relationship. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it.

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The Payoff

When you get really good at appreciation, it unlocks a host of positive benefits.

You’ll get higher levels of trust and psychological safety, both of which give huge performance benefits.

You’ll unlock a lot of drive and initiative. Your team, motivated in part by the praise, combined with the absolute clarity from you on the behaviors that yield praise, will feel very comfortable performing those great behaviors, even if it doesn’t work out in the end.

Your people will also feel really good when they’re working!

Culture has a lot of definitions, but really it’s the sets of norms and behaviors that get you ahead in an organization. If you’re appreciating the things under your team’s control, and reinforcing the cultural traits you want more of, then appreciation becomes a cultural transmitter and alignment tool. Everyone – including new hires – has great clarity and therefore uniformity in doing the right things.

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The Place for Critique

One last thing; appreciation can go too far. If you ONLY do appreciation and shut down all critique or constructive guidance, you’ll end up with a toxic positivity culture.

For full effect, appreciation needs to sit alongside the two other elements of effective feedback: coaching and evaluation.

Let’s say you’re an employee and you only hear the great things you’re doing. Meanwhile, as the leader, you know this person isn’t hitting the mark for their level. You’re giving confusing signals to the employee! Come annual review or promotion time, they won’t understand why they’re not advancing.

You still need to give advice and coach. You still need to let employees know where they stand relative to the standards you’ve identified.

So yes, get really good at appreciation, but ensure it’s got a place next to coaching and evaluation.

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Call to Action

This week catch three people doing something right every day. Yes – every day!

Depending on your starting point, that might seem high, but trust me, you can get there. I used to set a meeting invite for myself on Friday afternoons to send out appreciations. It violated the “immediate” guideline, but it helped me not forget as I was building a new skill. Nowadays, I try to think of something to appreciate in every meeting.

When you appreciate this week, notice two things; what happens to them, and what happens to you?

My guess is they’re going to feel great, and you’re going to feel great.

What you appreciate, appreciates.

Kevin 😊

PS – If you’ve made it this far in the newsletter, know that I appreciate YOU. Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to read my thoughts; it means a lot to me.

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